Can you believe this is our little Vivi, one year ago? So cute, then and now. She is having the hardest time sleeping. Oh, she is up for HOURS in the night and she is wide awake. The other night, I got up with her - I was hoping to let her cry and cry but she has a cold and I felt bad to hear her coughing. So I went and got her, around 3:00, and we went downstairs and I was hoping to just hold her on my shoulder and lie on the couch. But she scrambled down and climbed up in her high chair and patted the table, looking at me expectantly. I got her some raisins and cereal and she ate the HELL out of everything. Last night we just let her cry though, the hell with it. I can't be up all night - then I am really tired and then Anthony has a meltdown or Maria is impossible and I just don't have the - whatever it is I need to deal with it. So for everyone's safety, she has to figure it out and sleep in the night.

She is going to be 19 months old and here is what's worrying me. She doesn't talk at all. Not at all! She babbles quite a bit and she certainly asks for things and she shakes her head 'no' in answer to questions. But she doesn't talk, she doesn't even try. She also seems to have some sensory issues, to me, in that she never, EVER sits still in her seat. She pedals her little legs when she is in the car seat, when she is in her chair eating, and when she is sitting on the table. Is there something wrong with her development? Who the hell knows. We have to call First Steps and have an evaluation and just the idea of it freezes my heart and makes me want to cry. I don't feel like I can go through it again. But I have to, I have to get her checked out because if there is something wrong, we should start early. But if she wakes up from her nap and starts talking away, that would be fine with me too.